Report to the People

Well that’s that over for another year. The presents are opened, the in-laws are away and there’s only another four days supply of turkey soup, turkey curry and turkey sandwiches left in the fridge... (more)

As we look forward to a week of eating our own body weight in mince pies, drinking sherry by the gallon and doing nothing more energetic than playing with the kids’ toys, health improvement is probably the last thing about which you want to hear... (more)

Any encounter with crime is a horrible experience. Not only are you left with fewer possessions or painful physical injuries, you can be robbed of your confidence and dignity... (more)

As anyone whose company has been taken over by, or merged with, a competitor knows, change in the workplace and the prospect of being transferred to another employer is a stressful experience... (more)

It’s part of being human, I suppose, that we seek to avoid things which disturb or upset us. Our natural instinct when we see an item on the news about famine, or a graphic newspaper advert from the RSPCA, is to change the channel or turn the page... (more)

People these days, we’re told, are only interested in themselves. There is no longer any community spirit. Civic pride and concern for others are quaint customs from an age of Pathe newsreels and National Service... (more)

People say that, like your first kiss and your first hangover, your first job is one of those memories which stays with you for the rest of your life... (more)

A Scottish Managing Director is negotiating a deal with an Italian company. He has to finalise a number of details with the Italian company’s bank, so he calls them. The phone is answered and he demands, in his best bellowed English, "I SPEAK MANAGER?"... (more)

If you’re reading this over your tea, the chances are you either have been, or are about to be, interrupted by someone trying to sell you some product or service... (more)

The story of drug abuse rarely has a happy ending. Whether using, dealing, or both, a dependency on drugs risks bringing your life to an early, impoverished and no-doubt violent end. And it’s no fairytale for your friends, family and community, all of whom you will hurt or damage in some way... (more)

Autumn in Britain certainly sees some of our stranger customs. Within the space of a few days, we go from children dressed up as witches or Will Young chapping our doors and demanding sweeties with menaces, to fully grown adults igniting explosives to celebrate an attempted mass murder 400 years ago (or celebrate the fact that Guy Fawkes was caught and hung, I’m not sure)... (more)

As you may already know, in common with many of my former colleagues, I didn’t just leave the shipyards with a redundancy cheque. I also left with permanently damaged hearing... (more)

When many of us who live on this side of the Clyde hear talk about ferries, we may well recall black and white memories of Fair Friday trips doon the watter... (more)

Travel, they say, broadens the mind. OK, a round trip to the Council Tax office might not be in the same league as an African safari, but the freedom to travel – to get out of the house and go visiting, or shopping, or to see the sights – does keep you active. And keeping active, of course, is key to a longer and healthier old age... (more)

It’s a hard life being a Government Minister. Chauffeur driven limousines, Civil Servants waiting on you hand and foot, endless champagne receptions and five course dinners with the rich and famous…. (Not that I’m bitter or anything.)... (more)

Last week saw one of the most important announcements of the Scottish Parliamentary calendar – The Spending Review Statement. In effect the Scottish Budget, it was the chance for Finance Minister, Andy Kerr, to set out how the Parliament intends to spend around £70 billion... (more)

Well the nights are fair drawing in. And, as the leaves begin to turn and the adverts for sun tan cream and lawnmowers are replaced on our television screens with those for Coalite or Lemsip, we look forward to closing the windows against the cold night air, turning up the heating and making ourselves a hot toddie... (more)

If you got away over the summer, you probably welcomed the chance to relax with a good book. And, as you flicked through the pages, you might have reflected that, along with spending more time with the kids, reading books is one of these things we only seem able to fit in when on holiday... (more)

The other week, for the first time in my life, I set foot in the old Yarrow’s yard at Scotstoun. (The closest I’d ever been allowed to get before was a shop stewards’ meeting in the social club.) ...(more)

OK, to sharpen your minds in preparation for the new school term, have a go at this: How is it that, when exam pass rates increase slightly, self-appointed experts wail in the media about dumbing-down and the erosion of standards, but, when pass rates decrease slightly, they wail in the media about dumbing-down and the erosion of standards?... (more)

A friend of mine and his wife are just back from holiday in Ibiza. On the last night, finding they had a few extra Euros left over, they decided to dine out in a swish, high-class restaurant. At the end of the meal, just as they were polishing off their coffee and liqueurs, a rather dishevelled figure entered and shambled towards them, brandishing a small card. "I am a deaf mute," it read. "Will you buy a rose for 3 Euros so I can feed my family?"...(more)

"Crime," says the hero at the end of every 1950’s detective movie, "doesn’t pay." Of course, anyone who’s seen the size of your average gangster’s house knows that this is nonsense... (more)

Those of you who are of a certain age are probably looking forward to October, when free off-peak bus travel for pensioners comes into force. The thought of being able to jump on a bus and visit relatives, meet friends, or see sights throughout the old Strathclyde Regional Council area for nothing will, I imagine, be fairly tempting... (more)

Here’s a little-known fact with which you can astound your family at the dinner table this evening: 2002 is the International Year of Mountains... (more)

Some politicians stand accused of taking credit for all that is good and blaming someone else for all that is not... (more)

As you contemplate whether to get the bus into the town or, given what the weather’s been like, just swim there, you might grumpily reflect that this is supposed to be half way through the Greenock Fair... (more)

This being the first of the month, most of us probably spent the weekend taking part in that most ancient of ancient rituals – the balancing of the family finances... (more)

Its hardly a state secret that public health in Scotland is, especially in the West, diabolical. Neither is the fact that if we are to turn the situation around, we need to change our lifestyles... (more)

The greatest gift any parent can give their child is an education. Not that your kids believe this, of course. They’re probably of the view that an X-Box or a pony would be a far better expression of your love. But, as you tell them (and yourself) every morning while you’re prising them from their bed with a crow bar, they’ll thank you for caring about their education some day... (more)

Imagine that, every time you stepped outside your front door, you were confronted with your next door neighbour staring or shouting abuse at you. That every time you came home, you had to pick your way through litter, dog (you hope) mess and God knows what else in your close. That you are the pensioner who has had his windows put in three times since January this year... (more)

With our landlords, the Kirk, returning to our temporary lodgings on the Mound for their General Assembly last week, the Parliament moved North to the Granite City of Aberdeen... (more)

In common with everyone of my generation, I was an angelic child. I never once went somewhere I shouldn’t, or gave cheek to an adult, or hung about in a gang. Neither did those who pen the lurid tales of "rampaging teenage thugs" in the tabloids. And while I’m at it, pigs can fly, the earth is flat and the BNP is an equal opportunities employer... (more)

Few public services are more highly regarded than the Fire Service... (more)

The amount of hot air talked whenever there's a change in the Ministerial line-up would probably heat the homes of Scotland’s pensioners for a year... (more)

Men in monkey suits aside, you were probably not riveted by the coverage of last week’s English local elections. In Scotland we sometimes stand accused of not taking enough interest in our own councils, never mind ones hundreds of miles away... (more)

This is the time of year when members of Labour and Trade Union movements throughout the world mark International Workers’ Memorial Day – the annual commemoration of those who have lost their health or their lives to their job... (more)

Budget Day is the annual centrepiece of Westminster Parliamentary theatre... (more)

In the West of Scotland, if you don’t live with diabetes, the chances are you know someone who does. Indeed, diabetes led last year to the sad death of a good friend and tireless local Labour Party worker... (more)

As your little darlings skip happily back to school, leaving your nerves and your wallet to recover from the damage done by the past fortnight of quality time, you might be forgiven for breathing a sigh of relief... (more)

Easter Monday is never a recipe for domestic bliss.... (more)

If you’re a fan of political thrillers and TV shows like "The West Wing" your mental image of a professional politician’s day will probably be a collage of high-risk gambles, deals being done over dinner and fiendishly complicated power games... (more)

What’s the difference between a dead rat in the middle of the road and a dead lawyer? There are skid marks in front of the rat... (more)

The scars left on our community by the industrial vandalism of the late 70s and throughout the 80s run deep... (more)

If you ever took Modern Studies or a similar subject (in my day it was Empire Studies) at school, you will have at some point tried to answer a question like "What is the function of Parliament?" You would probably have answered that, alongside representing the people and holding the government to account, one of a Parliament’s primary functions is to pass laws... (more)

Suppose you’re watching the evening news and an item begins with something along the lines of, "The average temperature of the earth could rise by 1 degree over the next 20 years, scientists have warned." How many of you sit up and listen with interest to the rest of the report? And how many, by the end of the first sentence, are already in the kitchen putting the kettle on?... (more)

With the press and public galleries full to bursting; protestors outside shouting abuse; and amendments, amendments to amendments and counter amendments to amendments flying across the chamber, you would be forgiven for thinking that the Scottish Parliament was an exciting place to have been during Wednesday’s fox hunting debate... (more)

For the second week in a row, the big story in the Scottish Parliament has been on how we look after our elderly... (more)

One of the things which makes growing old less depressing is the fact that we’re all in the same boat. Despite some of the more extravagant claims made by manufacturers of expensive cosmetics, we are in no position to argue with Father Time... (more)

Who says religion, politics and football don’t mix? Well, almost everyone, in fact. But, last week, undaunted by convention, the Scottish Parliament managed to serve up all three in an afternoon... (more)

The story of asbestos victims has been a wretched one. Needlessly exposed by their employers to a poisonous product which gave them a raft of horrible diseases, victims seeking compensation were left to twist in the wind by a judicial system powerless against the underhand tactics of insurance companies and their lawyers... (more)

If you were one of the parents who bought a computer for your children at Christmas or in the sales, I'm sure you'll agree it was a wise - if substantial - investment... (more)

The making of New Year’s resolutions can, according to some, lead to depression – especially for tobacconists, bakers and publicans... (more)