Report to the People

The festive season is a time of hope. Well, it certainly is for me: I hope I’ll be able to get into my suit next Monday... (more)

A blow by blow account of your aging relative’s latest series of bowel reconstruction operations over the main course. The resentment as you watch your uncle slug down your whisky, while keeping the bottle he brought firmly closed. And the solemn promise to throttle your brother-in-law if he tells you once more how much he’s earning or how much his car cost… It can only be a traditional family Christmas... (more)

For some in our community, a cold snap such as the one we shivered through last week brings much more to worry about than a runny nose or having to scrape frost off your windscreen... (more)

Right, that’s it. Get that tinsel down, put those mince pies back in the box and take Bing Crosby off the stereo. Christmas, as everyone knows by now, has been cancelled... (more)

Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World paints a picture of a future in which everyone is conditioned to slot into and love their place in society. Even before you’re born, the level of education you will receive and the type of job you will do are fixed... (more)

Although I’m sorely tempted, I assure you that I will not lower the tone of a respectable family newspaper by mentioning the F-word. Yes, absolutely no mention of football. Also banned from my lexicon for the foreseeable future are clogs, Amstel, tulips and Lee Wilkie... (more)

Well I was hoping to give you an account of the dazzling speech I made in last week’s debate on public libraries. But, despite some opposition MSPs muttering about it not being a subject worthy of discussion, it in fact generated a huge amount of interest and, hence, was heavily oversubscribed. While this popularity was undoubtedly encouraging to those who work in, support and use our libraries, it sadly meant the Chamber was denied the benefit of my own pearls of wisdom on the subject... (more)

What a week. The big stars have jetted into town; hordes of screaming fans hunt in packs for a glimpse of their heroes; delighted crowds cheering hit after hit… I refer, of course, not to Morton’s victorious trip to Airdrie United last weekend, but the MTV Europe Music Awards in Leith.  It was as if the whole of the international entertainment industry had descended on Edinburgh, packing it out with limousines, burly security men and star-studded lavish showbiz parties... (more)

Who says all politicians do is talk? Well, alright, most people. But, as a member of that uniquely loved and respected profession, I am deeply wounded by the impression that my working life consists of droning on at length about any topic under the sun... (more)

By ducking every one of the big issues, Argyll and Clyde’s short-sighted maternity plan does not offer real solutions, but simply stores up more problems for the future. Last week’s news that it is to be implemented, then, was both disappointing and infuriating... (more)

At the end of last month, a couple from Ohio were jailed for conning money out of local well-wishers to help treat their seven-year-old daughter for a case of leukaemia she didn’t have... (more)

The maternity review has certainly thrust the challenge of how the NHS is organised and run into the spotlight – albeit in the role of reluctant star... (more)

If I was a betting man, I might risk a pound that those of you who are retired aren’t finding it to be the haven of rest, relaxation and Richard Whiteley of which you dreamed throughout your working life... (more)

Life is full of little ironies. Rotund stargazer Russell Grant, for example, has written a diet book. I spend hours every day fighting with gadgets and technology which are supposed to save me time. And, as that comedian who used to advertise Channel 5 pointed out, the Alanis Morissette song “Ironic” does not contain a single example of irony... (more)

1973 – Slade had three number one hits, the car to drive was an Austin Allegro and the release of The Exorcist caused terror and moral outrage throughout the land. It was also the year that Scotland’s licensing laws were last reviewed... (more)

One of the more interesting things about the Scottish Parliament is that it can debate things over which it has no power. Don’t ask me why. (I think it’s a bit like two bald men arguing over a comb.) But, rules are rules and, if a party wants to use its debating time to discuss what shade of green the army should paint its tanks, the level of Child Benefit in Bolivia, or whatever, that’s their business... (more)

Let’s hear it for British eccentricity. In what other country would two men try to launch a glorified hot air balloon from an experimental ship and fly it into space? ... (more)

I'm all set for the new Parliamentary term. The shirts are ironed, the trousers have been pressed and the new shoes have been broken in... (more)

No matter how hard some of its practitioners inadvertently try to prove otherwise, politics is rarely a barrel of laughs... (more)

Every so often, a legal case comes along which sparks a national debate. The story of Tony Martin, the Norfolk farmer who shot and killed a burglar in his home, is a good example. His release from prison a few weeks ago reignited the long-running controversy around the right to defend your property... (more)

As everyone who’s read it (mainly chronic insomniacs, political anoraks and television viewers who couldn’t face the prospect of watching another pointless pre-season friendly) knows, the Scottish Executive’s programme for the next four years opens with a declaration that economic growth is its number one priority... (more)

Last week’s short-sighted decision on the Rankin Maternity Unit was, to be blunt about it, a right kick in the teeth. As illogical as it was infuriating, this plan, if ever put into practice, will have grave consequences. It signals, as I have said before, the start of the wholesale centralisation of our NHS... (more)

It’s difficult to overstate the importance of tomorrow’s Health Board meeting. When the members come to decide on whether to accept the Maternity Services Steering Group’s recommendation to centralise all of Argyll and Clyde’s inpatient consultant-led maternity services in Paisley, they will be deciding a lot more than where a few hundred babies are born... (more)

You’re not going to believe this one. There is a myth, currently doing the rounds in the organic coffee shops of Morningside, that anti-social behaviour is a menace that politicians have manufactured for electoral purposes. And, the excited patrons tell you in between mouthfuls of carrot cake, the forthcoming Bill aimed at cracking down on the selfish thugs is just empty posturing... (more)

Five minutes in the General Register Office with a calculator confirms two things about the Steering Group’s recommendation that all inpatient consultant-led maternity services be centralised at Paisley’s Royal Alexandria Hospital... (more)

Kids, now that the summer holidays are in full swing (and the weather seems, after a fashion, to be holding up), do you wish they would last for ever? ... (more)

Much excitement in the Health Committee last week as we took evidence from petitioners on the vexed issue of food supplements... (more)

A friend tells the story about the time, back in the olden days, when his neighbour up the stairs went into hospital for a kidney stone and came out with a wooden leg. She never dreamt of pointing out the error, of course, as this would just be “bothering the doctor.” And, besides, her leg might have needed replacing in a year or so anyway, so she should be grateful she’d had it done now... (more)

One thing about being a politician is that you’re always learning. You could be in a school finding out about how teachers are using new technology in the classroom on Monday, in your Committee taking expert evidence on the NHS on Tuesday, and finding out about the challenges facing the economy in the Chamber by Wednesday... (more)

I am sure that, as The Queen addressed the Scottish Parliament last week, a slight edge crept into her voice when she reminded us that we will soon be neighbours. .. (more)

Did you see that story last week about the MSP who wants to ban us from referring to the tracksuited thugs who terrorise our communities as “neds”? It is, apparently, “hurtful” to the delicate little souls. Bless... (more)

As the 32 page full colour souvenir pullouts in your morning paper, the pundits queuing up to share their thoughts over the airwaves and the mountain of commemorative tat now on sale in every newsagent, baker’s and petrol station remind us, this has been one of the most dramatic ends to the football season in living memory... (more)

A week, as Harold Wilson famously once said, is a long time in politics... (more)

You can hardly control your nerves; you feel the eyes of the nation watching your every move; you hope you’ll be up to the greatest challenge of your career so far. But enough about “I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here”, I’m supposed to be talking about last week’s Oath Taking Ceremony in the Scottish Parliament... (more)

With the election looming large on the horizon, the last week of business in the Scottish Parliament before tomorrow’s Dissolution had a strange feeling about it... (more)

Two quick figures. On an average weekday, The Greenock Telegraph sells about 20,000 copies. According to the Mental Health Foundation, at some point this year, one in four Scots will experience a mental health problem... (more)

I don’t often comment on reserved issues. It’s normally my view that they should be debated by MPs in the House of Commons and that MSPs in the Scottish Parliament should concentrate on what the Scottish people elected them to do... (more)

Tucked away behind the trees on the site of the old Scott’s Shipyard sheds stands a success story. A success story which has quietly grown over the past seven years. The Royal Bank of Scotland Mortgage Centre – a modern building of steel and glass in which are employed 750 people in the Inverclyde travel to work area – now deals with £10 billion of business a year... (more)

I know the phrase "radical shake-up" is probably overused when it comes to describing government plans. But it’s about the most appropriate phrase I can think of to describe the proposals for root and branch reform of the NHS outlined last week by Health Minister, Malcolm Chisholm... (more)

When, towards the end of last year, plans were published to improve the way the High Court works, I remember writing in this column about the need for the criminal justice system to start showing victims a bit of respect... (more)

Most of us remember where we were when, on Wednesday 13^th March 1996, we learned of the Dunblane tragedy. I’m sure I’m not the only one who was left upset, furious and bewildered by the realisation that anyone would want to inflict such cruelty on defenceless fellow human beings... (more)

In an area like Inverclyde, with low birth weights and generally poor public health, high quality local health services are key to health improvement... (more)

I know how hard it is. It’s not a month since more than a thousand jobs were lost in our community and we’re being asked be positive about the future. Not easy... (more)

Last Wednesday, as I made my way into Parliament, I was accosted by a gentleman with an aristocratic bearing and a Barbour jacket. "Will you be voting for the end of a civilised Britain?" he demanded, as he thrust a leaflet complaining about the right to roam or something equally sinister into my hand... (more)

The last time I wrote in this column about the Rankin Maternity Unit, back in August 2001, I was expressing relief that that someone, in the shape of then new Unitary Health Board Chairman, John Mullin, was finally listening to us... (more)

If I live to be a hundred I will never understand why our supposed serious political commentators (and some senior figures who you would think had more important things to worry about) thought last week’s main political story was about MSPs pressing the wrong button in a vote... (more)

Happy New Year! I hope that 2003 will be good to you. Unfortunately, if you can’t stand politics or politicians, I fear that no amount of good wishes on my part will alter the fact that the early part of 2003 will be a living nightmare. With the Scottish Parliament elections due to be held in May, there will be no escape from the canvassers on every doorstep, the party political broadcasts on every channel and the stickers on every child and car. In fact you may be best –accommodating boss and bank balance permitting – to leave the country for a bit... (more)